Every new mother knows the struggles of childbirth, pregnancy hormones and the difficulties of postpartum. But for my client Induja (name changed), it was a nightmare to take care of the newborn, manage household chores, struggle with sleep and difficulty taking care of herself. 

It all started when she fell ill during the third trimester of her pregnancy and she had extreme symptoms leading up to the birth of her child. She almost never slept and kept ruminating over the probable negative consequences. She fell ill often which required constant hospitalisation during her last trimester. While these have created a strong impression on her mind that, ‘things would never go easy for her and anything bad could happen anytime’. 

During her childbirth, she had complications and after her childbirth, they had to keep the baby in the incubator for sometime. During that period, she struggled with guilt, fear and depressive tendencies making it completely impossible to sleep. As soon as the child came home, she felt the need to over-do her duties as a mother by completely neglecting her needs. She felt guilty and scared for not being able to protect the baby and felt the need to be there for the baby all the time. This resulted in anxiety over the child's health and never sleeping through the night to pacify the baby whenever it cries or whines during the night. 

Her family members grew concerned about her health and her state of her condition and came to our sleep coach with concerns. They mentioned her sleepless nights and her obsessive need to be present for the baby all the time making her neglect her own needs. Thus, Induja came for the first session with the sleep coach at gudsleepz for the new mother program. 

Journey begins… 

Induja never made eye contact with the sleep coach and when asked about her problem, she only spoke about her baby’s issues. She was more reserved and extremely tired with dark circles around her eyes. She hasn’t slept in a long time, it was evident. 

Sleep coach probed her, ‘Do you not want to take care of yourself and be healthy, Induja?’ She said, ‘I don’t deserve too’. This sparked a lot of questions about Induja as she was overdoing something she thinks she has done wrong. When probed further, she went on to narrate about the time she detested having the baby. During sometime in her pregnancy, she wanted the baby to be gone as she felt the baby was taking her precious time. She had this thought for a while until she fell ill during her third trimester. She realised what she had wished for and that it was wrong of her to wish that. Then, she wanted the baby all the more. She said, she was punished enough for wishing that. 

Sleep coach worked with her feelings of insecurity, self-blame and guilt over the first few sessions through carefully thought out techniques to address her irrational fears and unconscious emotions. Compassion technique was introduced during the later part of her sessions, she started to nurture her flaws, self-forgive and eventually saw motherhood in a more accepting light. 

Then came the work on sleepless nights, she eventually developed a few sleep routines which included her baby. She enjoyed the process of getting to know her, love her and also, nurture motherhood. She started to sleep when the baby sleeps and often delegated the night task to her husband. This helped her to take care of the baby well during the day. After a few more sessions, she started sleeping regularly and getting a few naps during the day. She started a hobby to keep herself occupied and eventually able to manage all the negative emotions. She turned a new leaf. 

A new mother might look scared, confident, depressed, disinterested or even disappointed. That’s okay. You are a human navigating a new stage in life and never let yourself be judged for that nor judge yourself. This is the success story of our client Induja whose journey continues to inspire us and many others. 

Good day!

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